Rebelsutra: Be enlightened.

You know what to do

2007-02-25T12:04:00.000+08:00

Whenever Rebel and I play "Fetch", and I end up holding his toy, I'll make him sit just so that he remembers that command.

Typically, I'd say, "You know what to do", and Rebel would sit without fail. In the past, I used to think that he was reall smart to understand sentences, and not short, straightforward commands. Then I realise something of late.

He doesn't understand the meaning of "Sit" anymore. To him, "You know what to do" means "Sit". Oh boy.

No wonder he doesn't respond to "Stay". He responds to "Don't cross the road without me!".

My boy is turning into Rudie, my friend's maltese who thinks he's human and hence, he refuses to respond to commands; you have to talk to him like a human being.

Breakfast attacks

2007-02-13T11:48:00.000+08:00

For 2 consecutive days, Rebel has been helping himself to my breakfast, which alternates between microwaved siew mai and ha kao (pork dumplings and prawn shrimps, for any non-Chinese readers) or egg-and-ham sandwich. Today, it was my siew mai and ha kao.

He got whacked of course. Firstly, he's already being fed super-premium organic venison meat (dear's meat by the way) that's costing me a bomb, and secondly, I'm not a very friendly morning person. I'm worse without food.

If he tries to eat my breakfast again tomorrow, Imma switch his diet to avocado instead.

Let him give you some love

2007-02-03T11:30:00.000+08:00

Rebel's dickhead is heart shaped. Imagine that.

This

Sleeping on the job

2007-01-30T12:06:00.000+08:00

Pardon the infrequent update of late. I'm settling into a new job, and just launched my own blog (finally). Warning: Parental Guidance required.

Anyway, Rebel has this habit of licking his own dick every morning, as though he is polishing his trophy... Just yesterday, he fell asleep on the job.

I wish I took a picture, but I was rushing for work. Still, such a Kodak moment.

Like Dog Like Owner

2007-01-18T18:20:00.000+08:00

Rebel and I, taking a dog nap this afternoon. We look frighteningly alike, do we not?

Perfectly fine

2007-01-15T02:05:00.000+08:00

The endoscopy indicated zero signs of abnormality. Apparently, Rebel's perfectly fine and in worst case scenarios, he is probably suffering from a food allergy. Thank god for that. He's on Addiction's organic food right now (Possum and Vegetables, I adamantly refused to subject him to some weird "Wild Kangeroo" flavour offered by Addiction). Let's hope that would stop his puking.

My poor son ran towards his bed the moment we got home. I had to place him in the hospital for the entire day and I guess he didn't like his 4x4 cubic square ward. He buried his head underneath his smelly pillow for a bit, before making his way to his favourite carpet for some body roll. Finally, he went to his newspapers and peed for a good minute or so. Poor baby. I guess he probably didn't want to pee where he slept and hence, he didn't pee in the hospital.

Here's he, falling asleep in my arms having been sedated earlier in the afternoon.

3 days of rebellion

2007-01-06T20:53:00.000+08:00

I cannot say for sure, what has gotten into Rebel, but he sure lived up to his name. Please allow me, this poor owner of a gangsta-wannabe Chihuahua, to share with you what I went thru in the last three days.

Day One: 4 January, Thursday, 2007
As per habit, I left my black pointed leather JWEST heels at the corridor upon reaching home from work in the evening. When I left home again for a party later that night, I discovered that Rebel has meticulously removed the sole of right side of my JWEST heels, without damaging the calf leather exterior. God knows how he did that. He must’ve developed fingers overnight or something. Since I was rushing out for my party, I settled for a brief scolding and left.

When I returned in the morning at 3am, barely drunk but extremely tired, I found out that Rebel did the same to the right side of my JWEST heels. I don’t appreciate his democratic behaviour. He got a good whip on the ass.

Day Two: 5 January, Friday, 2007
I woke up to a collection of poo Rebel placed at various touch points of my apartment. I wondered if they were strategically placed. The first pile was located at the entrance of the bathroom, the second at the entrance of the kitchen, and finally, the last pile at main entrance of my apartment. Needless to say, I whipped his ass again and went to work.

He seemed apologetic enough in the evening when I returned from work. He was extremely well-behaved, even waiting for my permission before jumping on the sofa with me. On a normal day, he’d jump on the sofa before I even lay my butt down. So yes, it was nice to see Rebel behaving well for once… Until “the other man”, my dad, decided to piss him off.

My dad was doing one of his usual I-am-the-man-who-knows-it-all stint in between commercials of a Hong Kong serial drama show when Rebel deliberately let out a Yeah, right grunt. My dad’s ego was bruised by Rebel’s interruption and he ceased the conversation immediately and stared at Rebel. Rebel stared back. Staring continued for a couple of minutes. My dad rolled up his Punter’s Way magazine. Rebel’s ears pointed forward and his growl was getting louder and louder.

My dad’s picking a fight with my dog. You have got to be kidding me? I thought.

Before I could ponder any longer how absurd this scenario was, my dad stood up grinning, went towards Rebel with his rolled-up magazine. Obviously, my dad was just fooling around but Rebel didn’t know that. He leaped off the sofa and attempted to bite my dad. My dad wasn’t too pleased, and complained immediately that Rebel was disrespectful.

Respect from a dog? Huh? I was absolutely bewildered.

My mum then stepped in and chided my dad. “It’s YOUR fault! You wanted to hit him, of course he’d bite back. What do you expect him to do? Remain still and let you hit him? Stop it right now!”

Now my mum’s taking sides. Rebel’s side. Ok, the commotion we’re creating is even more dramatic than the Hong Kong serial drama show.

My dad grumbled under his breath and went to the bedroom. Rebel realized he won, and proceeded to give my face a little lick. No, really, I kid you not.

Day Three: 6 January, Saturday, 2007
Rebel and I had an appointment with the super-hot-and-oh-so-sexy vet, Dr Lau, from Animal Recover Centre. It’s about Rebel’s puking (no it has not gone away) and his newly formed hunchback. How do you tell a dog not to hunch, by the way?

Anyway, when we were walking back to the taxi stand, Rebel decided to leap off my arms and run off. I was furious alright. Try chasing your dog around the entire shopping mall with passerbys laughing and see if you would get mad too. I know Rebel hates the vet visits but no choice what?!

Pray for him would you? He is due for an endoscopy next Friday. He will be sedated, upon which a microscopic camera will be shoved down his throat. We need to see if his dontknowwhat tube to his small intestine from his stomach is indeed too small, and hence, causing him to repel his food. If so, a surgery is required.

God, I hope it goes well. My baby boy’s gonna be sedated for the first time. ☹

Happy New Year!

2007-01-03T01:35:00.000+08:00

Says our Mafia Dogfather, Rebel Law.

I love this last picture. So Al Pacino.

No, I don't like you.

2006-12-19T22:26:00.000+08:00

Let's take this outside

2006-12-10T23:02:00.000+08:00

I promise you Rebel has somehow inherit my personality. A fellow chihuahua tried to pick a fight with him earlier this afternoon at the dog farm, and he tugged on the chihuahua's ugly dog-shirt with his mouth and growled.

I bet, if we understood the Dog's language, it would probably translate to "Do you want a piece of me?".

Reminds me of those adolescent days when I used to pull a person by his/ her shirt (man or woman alike, amazingly) and taunt, "Not happy? Fight lah."

Ya ya ya. We were all young once.

And like his owner, Rebel never loses in a fight. Heh heh heh.

Oblivious Rascal

2006-12-03T17:12:00.000+08:00

Rebel's a lucky kid whose owner happens hates the leash as much as he does. He runs about with her free-spiritedly, unlike most considerate owners and their leashed-up dogs. And that bastard, he sure knows how to use his luxury to his advantage.

About 20 minutes ago, Rebel met Brownie, this 3-year-old Shih Tzu during his walk. I promise you it was deliberate; Rebel taunted and teased, and provoked Brownie into a dog chase with him. It could've been ohsocute, except that Rebel stupidly got Brownie running around my legs... the leash naturally tighten my flesh, causing me instant rope burns. And yes, I did the whole cartoon-like fall like a horse being caught by a Western County sheriff.

And of course, Rebel was oblivious to the pain he caused me. He had fun showing Brownie who's boss and that's all that bloody matters to him.

Ouch.

Go fetch!

2006-11-26T18:46:00.000+08:00

You know you have neglected your dog for too long when he starts playing Fetch with himself. In the past month of absolute craziness at work, Rebel wittedly taught himself how to play Fetch. He would hold his little red ball in his mouth, throw it a few feet away by means of swinging his head, and then run after it.

Funny how it’s amusing and depressing at the same time.

I haven’t been able to blog of late due to my mammoth of work. It’s starting to get better, thank god. In my absence, Rebel has proven to be quite an independent chap. He has learnt to cope with being alone at home (no, I decided against having anyone babysit him while my maid was away) and well, the Fetch thing simply takes the cake.

I tried compensating the lack of anyone present during the day by walking him every morning. It was tough financially alright – because I ended up taking the cab to work each morning (S$20 per trip, mind you) but I suppose that’s the least I can do since I wasn’t able to see him til midnight each day. Yes, it was miserable for the both of us.

Rebel became friends with the residential cleaner, whose work takes place in the morning. Despite being Malay, he didn’t appear to be put off by Rebel for being a dog. Everyone, say hi to Man (pronounced “Mah-an”). I’m glad my work slowing down. I miss my life. I miss Rebel.

When the both of us have nothing better to do

2006-10-07T21:00:00.000+08:00

Sorry I'm such a lousy camera (wo)man.

Digging to the bottom of the matter

2006-10-07T16:10:00.000+08:00

For the first time ever, watch Rebel "LIVE" thanks to YouTube.com! Like to see more? Let me know.

Finding Peace

2006-10-05T21:18:00.000+08:00

I love this photograph I took earlier of Rebel taking a nap next to me this afternoon. Looking at him sleep like that makes me feel at ease.

It's hard not to smile with this one below.

So motherfucking cute.

Home Alone

2006-10-05T00:26:00.000+08:00

I've decided to leave Rebel to fend himself against loneliness at home, on the account that I have admittedly haven't given much effort in finding him a dogsitter. Apart from the half-dead arowana(or at least I think it's one) swimming in the fish tank, Rebel that poor bastard, had only his toys (hundreds if I may add) for company.

I pulled my lazy ass up this morning an hour earlier, just to walk Rebel for a bit. Funny how you tend to be nicer to a person (or a dog) when you know you're about to make him/ her upset. Then again, without that human tendency, I doubt I would get Daddy's Rolex Hee. Rebel was smart enough to pick up the sudden niceness. Perhaps he knew from last evening when my maid and didn't return, for he was moody as hell. Oh well.

On the whole, I thought Rebel did pretty well for his first day alone at home. Nevermind the fact that he rebelled against the obvious rules and went to my mum's room to poo (thing is, chihuahuas are too hygienic to shit where they sleep and thus my room was spared). Nevermind that he knew he would've pissed my mum so bad should he poo on her carpet. For the fact that it was his first day alone afterall, I will forgive him. Surprisingly, even my mum went easy on him. Tomorrow onwards, I doubt she will be as compassionate. Already, she left him on the top of our spinning washing machine this evening when I told her to keep an eye on him while I made my dinner. Nope, Rebel doesn't like feeling giddy.

Oh by the way, that's how Rebel looks when snoring with his paws up in the air and a semi-hard on. Life's unfair. It's cute if you're a dog, but if you're a man, its just plain disgusting.

Bedroom Antics

2006-09-30T16:30:00.000+08:00

As Rebel grows each day, I can't help but notice how he's increasingly befitting the image of a Protector. At times when I place him in bed with me, he would prefer to snuggle at my feet, facing the bedroom door, as opposed to snuggled in my arms under my feet. He works like a 7-11 bell, really. Each time someone attempts to open my bedroom door, he would growl.

Sweet, ain't it? I don't recall any of my ex-boyfriends even being that protective!

At times when I leave my bedroom door open whilst I work or blog (like now!), Rebel would place himself at the door, living up to the title of a door bitch quite appropriately.

And no... I have yet to find a dogsitter for him! Shite!

Dogsitter Still Wanted

2006-09-24T14:09:00.000+08:00

Urgh... I'm approaching October and there has been zero takers for Rebel. Zilch. I guess I overestimated Rebel's attractiveness. Damn. I figured, if I don't find anyone by the mid of next week, I will:

1. Place Rebel on a daily basis at my Aunt's place in Bedok. She has a blind maltese named Marl (her daughter named him after her favourite brand of cigarettes). I'll bring Rebel by next week and we'll see if they get along.

2. Ask the local breeder if he's willing to keep Rebel together with his pack of Chihuahuas. My only issue is, Rebel will naturally be caged up in a playpen like the rest, and I'm not sure if he's going to like it that much. But then again, at least he knows the local breeder.

Hmmm. Now if only I have Ginger's number. She stays in the block opposite mine!

Dogsitter Wanted

2006-09-17T11:45:00.000+08:00

My maid's going back to her hometown for the entire month of October, and there won't be anyone at home during the day to take care of this little rascal. I need someone who is able to babysit Rebel from 8am - 8pm on weekdays, and the occasional Saturdays. If you live in Pasir Ris, and is willing to help, let me know.

Obviously, the volunteer needs to be one who love dogs and doesn't mind Rebel's lethal farts, amplified snoring and infamous puking (that happens once every week or so).

And yes, Rebel's toilet trained.

Email me at patricia.law@tbwa.com.sg if interested. Thanks.

A special visitor

2006-09-10T15:19:00.000+08:00

The local breeder came by my home yesterday to collect the dog training VCD I've borrowed eons ago from him. We chatted for a bit before he asked me to bring Rebel down to him after I made the remark about how difficult it is to cut the latter's stupid nails. "Bring him down and I'll cut them for you..." he offered. Rebel's lucky to have lived with him for 7 months.

While it didn't surprise me at all, I was still glad nonetheless that Rebel remembered the local breeder. His tail wagged with joy and it felt as though he was saying "Hey I miss you!". I felt a hint of jealously in me when Rebel gave more attention to him than me, but otherwise, it was a comforting sight of loyalty.

Previously, I played hairstylist and snipped Rebel's super-long whiskers with a huge pair of scissors. Edward Scissorhand I was so not, and the local breeder was kind enough to correct my catastrophe. He gave Rebel a complete makeover! With reduced whiskers, Rebel now looks months younger! So so so bloody gorgeous... It's like Aidan from Sex and The City - with long hair and without!

Since I haven't been diligent feeding you guys with pictures of late, here's a series of Rebel having his afternoon nap yesterday.

And for those who needs a perfect after-lunch desktop wallpaper, double-click the following:

Makes you wanna sleep too, doesn't it?

They bark, not type.

2006-08-28T01:06:00.000+08:00

I stumbled a few local dog blogs this morning. Oddly enough, the blogs are recorded by the dogs themselves. Is it just Rebel being inadequate or have dogs somehow mastered typing? Maybe it's just me (no wait, I think it's just me) but I cringed at every single post where the owner tries to type as though its his or her dog typing. I don't get the logic of pretending to be the dog, and I'm glad I don't. Rebel will sue me for defamation if I ever impersonate him that way.

It's cheesy. It's silly. And it's way too hello-kitty. Next thing you know, these owners will start dressing their dogs to match their own attires. Trust me, I have already witnessed one such case.

I'll bet my last pack of cigarettes that they probably babytalk to their dogs too.

That, I'll leave to another day for debate.

I'll like to check this in please...

2006-08-23T23:20:00.000+08:00

I had to go on a last-minute business trip last Friday night to Beijing and Xiamen. I have been so damn busy prior to my trip, it's a miracle I even managed to find time in between getting off from work and rushing to the airport to walk Rebel. I even managed to slot in a bath for him.

JJ came to pick me up to the airport. Whilst waiting for me for get ready, she got creative with Rebel...

Kinda cute until I ripped Rebel's fur out when I removed the luggage label from his back.

Heh.

The Rubber Band Punishment

2006-08-05T22:32:00.000+08:00

When I was little, my tutor used to snap a rubber band upon my hand everytime I forget to complete my homework. Those days are gone, but tonight, my past was brought back thanks to Rebel.

An hour ago, Rebel, who was resting on the sofa with me, leaped across to the armchair (where my legs were resting upon) and bite my dad who was walking pass. Instinctively, my dad grabbed the nearest object he could find, and was about to swing it across Rebel's face when he realised it was just a harmless teddy bear.

Yes, I happen to have a teddy bear in the living room. It belongs to Rebel.

Anyway, back to the story. My dad dropped the teddy bear and went into the kitchen. When he reappeared, he was armed with a rubber band, grinning from ear to ear like Saddam with a AK-47. Aim properly, I warned. Either he didn't hear me, or he was blind. I got hit instead.

Thanks huh, sonny boy.

Haircut

2006-08-05T13:27:00.000+08:00

Snipped Rebel's super-long whiskers off today because he was starting to resemble a cat.

Nope, he ain't happy about it.

Hehe.

Humpty Dumpty

2006-08-02T19:03:00.000+08:00

Last night, I had a nightmare and I accidentally kicked Rebel off my bed.

Poor bugger.